Disappointed but still toughing it out

This exam period, Weiling was really stressed out. So, I gave her couple of care packages, of which the second was delivered to her place. She was touched and since then we've been chatting more online and everything. I've given her help with tax, with AT, and just tried to encourage her and be there to cheer her up.

The exams ended couple of days ago, and we talked about getting back again. This time, she said that for all I've done, she felt gratitude and not love. Sigh, that really got me disappointed and I started to question whether she would ever feel love for me again.

Talking to jj and xx yesterday, they re-emphasized jy's point that girls don't forget their first love so easily. I'm not sure if I'm considered her first love, because she did like that table tennis guy in the past. I really hope that there are some remnants of the feelings she used to feel for me, and that it can flourish again.

Talking to jj and xx made me rediscover my determination. The 2 years I've decided to devote to trying to win her back is worthwhile and they reminded me so. I will do all I can to remain part of her life and give her all the support she needs. The plan is to be there for her and become indispensable to her. The only fear is that we might only keep becoming good friends, though on a positive note, good friends can sometimes become a couple right. It's like the song by Jason Mraz, Lucky. Furthermore, I also want to be together with my best friend.

So yes, I shall jiayou and keep working towards being there for her and being a part of her life. The fact that she's willing to pursue a strong friendship with me should mean something, and maybe one day she'll realize that she still has feelings for me.