Resurrection of the blog

I never thought I'd still use this blog again, the blog address "foryouiwillwait", as cheesy as it sounds, was something I thought was locked in the past. There is now another girl that I will wait for.

Special does not even begin to describe her. She was the girl I had dreamed of my entire life. She was kind, understanding, thoughtful, faithful, filial and most importantly loving. Losing her made my life devoid of happiness. I remember feeling sad for a while, then anger at her for dumping me. I thought that I was over her, but deep within my heart I still longed for her. The mornings I woke up with tears in my eyes proved that my heart still longed for her, and no one else could take her place.

Yes, she is Wei Ling.

Huawei gave me a quote the other day and it almost made me weep.

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I've never treasured her enough and now that I've lost her, I finally found out how much she means to me.

The past 4 months have been a huge dilemma. I constantly forced myself to think that she wasn't the one for me and that things wouldn't work out. But within me, I knew that she was the one I wanted and I longed for her to tell me that she wanted me back and wanted to try and make it work again. I would take her back instantly. Unfortunately, life isn't so simple and easy. She's still unwilling to take me back and she's fully convinced that her trust in me will never return hence causing her to never be able to see a future with me.

I am determined to change her perception though. Having been able to admit to myself that she's the only girl I ever want, I know that I am willing to spend a year, or two years, or longer to prove my love for her, and to prove that I will be there for her whenever she needs me. Honestly, I feel ashamed for treating her how I did in the past. Though I can say that I'm a person who learns from mistakes, and will never make the same one twice again.

I foresee this blog keeping me company for the next, I don't know how long. The title is apt: for you I will wait, and it is Wei Ling whom I will wait for for eternity.