She's finally left for Cambodia today. Should be back on 16 June and I can't wait for that day to come. Over the past few days, we've been talking quite a bit. Somehow, I feel that we've gotten a little closer. But sometimes, it's only in the direction of friends. I don't know, really. This has been a really confusing period for me. I just don't know how to go about this anymore. What are the choices that I should make? What are the right choices I should make. What does my heart think. Will my heart think differently again in maybe a few months or years time? Does the heart and mind mature?

I think I've been a jerk in the past. It's just so easy for me to just have a crush on any girl with a cute face, regardless of their personality. Was I that desperate then? Maybe. Probably. I was desperate and I will not be anymore. Why do I need to look presentable when I go out then? So that others can look at me and say, "Wow, look at that cool guy. He looks pretty cute too!" Haha. I think I'm quite deluded. Most people don't think about others. They are too busy thinking about themselves and what other people think about them. I probably fall into that category. So, I've to quit it.

Start afresh, I say.