I was just thinking to myself the other day, why do people get attached. People of the ages say 12-16/17? Is a future really possible for people who get together at these ages? Unlikely. So, I was thinking, is it a social status? Is it such a cool thing to be able to say to your friends, "Hey, I've got a girlfriend/ boyfriend!"

I think I'm pretty dumb too, in that sense. Will I really have a future with her? Highly unlikely as well. Even in university, if her reason is to study, then it would definitely not work out at all. When she starts out in the workforce, she'll be surrounded by guys, guys who are richer, older, in high positions, probably better than me in a hundred ways.

Or let's say, they need companionship? At such an age? Impossible. People need friends more than a partner. Friends to stick by them in times of need, to grow up together with, to experience life-changing experiences with.

So what am I thinking. Do I really need a relationship now? in 2 years? in 5 years? I probably need to grow up and see the truth. What will having a girlfriend bring me? Love? Probably, but devotion as well? I don't need that right now. Commitment? Hey, I'm still young. Although, committing to myself to a relationship isn't a tough thing, but can it really be mutual and work out? The trouble probably is with my attitude to be satisfied with current situations. Being a perfectionist is definitely not a good thing. I';; definitely have to learn to be happy, contented with what I have and what I will get. Sigh, a disturbing thought. Something that invalidates my current existence so far.

Do I exist? Or do I live. Can I say that I've lived my life the past 19 years or so. Have I lived or have I merely existed in this so-called world. Is this just a passing dream? Will I wake up one day and find that the life I've been living so far is void and meaningless? Where can I find meaning to my existence? Where can I get a life, a real life?

So many questions, so little answers.